Joke Prison Humor
Joke Prison Humor
Main article: Russian humour
Russian jokes (Russian: анекдо́ты (transcribed anekdoty), literally anecdotes) the most popular form of Russian humour, are short fictional stories or dialogues with a punch line.
Russian joke culture includes a series of categories with fixed and highly familiar settings and characters. Surprising effects are achieved by an endless variety of plots. Russian jokes are on topics found everywhere in the world, be it sex, politics, spouse relations, or mothers-in-law. This article discusses Russian joke subjects that are peculiar to Russian or Soviet culture.
Every category has a host of untranslatable jokes that rely on linguistic puns, wordplay, and Russian's vocabulary of foul language. Below, (L) marks jokes whose humor value critically depends on untranslatable features of the Russian language.
A huge category is Russian political jokes.
Archetypes
Named characters
Standartenführer Stirlitz
Standartenführer Stirlitz , alias Colonel Isayev is a character from the Soviet TV series “Seventeen Moments of Spring” (“Семнадцать мгновений весны”, based on a novel by Yulian Semyonov) played by the popular actor Vyacheslav Tikhonov about a fictional Soviet intelligence officer who infiltrates Nazi Germany. Stirlitz interacts with Nazi officials Walther Schellenberg, Ernst Kaltenbrunner, Martin Bormann, Heinrich Müller. In the jokes he interacts with them as well as with fictional female radio operator Kat, pastor Schlagg, professor Pleischner and other characters in the series. Usually two-liners spoofing the solemn style of the original voice-overs, the plot is resolved in grotesque plays on words or in dumb parodies of overly-smart narrow escapes and superlogical trains of thought of the "original" Stirlitz.
- The words "Stirlitz is a moron!" were chalked on the wall of the Reichschancellery. The entire Nazi party snickered about it; only Stirlitz knew its true meaning: he had been awarded the title of Hero of the Soviet Union.
- Müller was walking through the forest when he saw two eyes staring at him in the darkness. "An owl," thought Müller. "You're an owl yourself!" thought Stirlitz.
- Stirlitz opened a door. The lights went on. Stirlitz closed the door. The lights went out. Stirlitz opened the door again. The light went back on. Stirlitz closed the door. The light went out again. "It's a fridge," concluded Stirlitz.
- Stirlitz wakes up to find out he has been arrested. "Who got me? Which name should I use?" - he wonders. - "Let's see. If they wear black uniforms, I'll say I'm Standartenführer Stirlitz. If they wear green uniforms, I'm Colonel Isayev". The door opens and a policeman in a blue uniform comes in saying: "You really should ease up on the vodka, Comrade Tikhonov!"
Poruchik Rzhevsky
Poruchik (Lieutenant) Rzhevsky is a cavalry (hussar) officer, a straightforward, unsophisticated, and immensely rude military type whose rank and standing gain him entrance into disproportionately higher society. In the aristocratic setting of high-society balls and 19th century social sophistication, Rzhevsky, famous for brisk but not very smart remarks, keeps ridiculing the decorum with his vulgarities. In the jokes, he is often seen interacting with characters from the novel War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. The name is borrowed from a character from a popular 1960s comedy, Hussar Ballad (Russian - "Гусарская баллада"), bearing little in common with the folklore hero. Some researchers point out that many jokes of this kind are versions of 19th century Russian army jokes, and the film contributed to a new series of jokes about Rzhevsky.
Armen Oganezov, film director of the first legal Russian erotic film studio Eros-Film, shot a film, Sex in Russia. Hussar's Entertainments-1 (2007) based on jokes about Poruchik Rzhevsky.
A brand of beer, Poruchik Rzhevsky , produced in Rzhev (the town at the root of his surname) earned the Large Gold Medal at the Beerindustry-99 (Пивоиндустрия–99) exhibition.
There are a number of typical settings in this series.
-
Rzhevsky's (and supposedly all hussars') nonchalant attitude to love and sex.
- Poruchik Rzhevsky is putting his riding boots on and is about to take leave of a charming demoiselle he had met the previous evening. " Mon cher Poruchik," intones the siren, "aren't you forgetting about the money?" Rzhevsky turns to her and says proudly: "Hussars never take money!" — The latter expression ( Gusary deneg ne berut! ) has become a Russian catch phrase.
He also gives his best advice to other Russian gentlemen on love matters. The Poruchik believes that the most straightforward approach is the most effective one.
- Kniaz Andrei Bolkonski asks Poruchik Rzhevsky: "Tell me, Poruchik, how did you come to be so good with the ladies? What is your secret?" - "It's quite simplemnt , mon Prince , quite simplement . I just come over and say: 'Madame, would you like to f---?'" - "But Poruchik, you'll get slapped in the face for that!" - " Oui , almost all of them slap, but some of them f---."
-
A series of jokes in which Rzhevsky wants to surprise the high society with a witticism, but messes up.
- Poruchik Rzhevsky asks his aide: "Stepan, there is a grand ball tonight. Got any new puns for me to tell there?" — "Sure, sir, how about this rhyme: 'Adam had Eve... right on the eve... of their very last day in Eden...'" — "That's a good one!". Later, at the ball: " Messieurs , messieurs ! My Stepan taught me a funny chanson ridicule : 'Adam boinked Eve at dawn...' Pardon, not like that... 'Adam and Eve f--- through the night ...' Er... Hell, basically they f---, but it was absolutement splendid in verse!"
-
A series of jokes is based on a paradox of vulgarity within the "high society" setting.
- Natasha Rostova has her first ball and dances with Pierre Bezukhov: "Pierre, isn't that grease on your collar?"/"Oh my, how could I miss such a terrible flaw in my costume, I'm totally destroyed" (walks away). Then she dances with Kniaz Bolkonsky: "Andrew, isn't there a dip of sauce on your tunic?"/ (Bolkonsky faints). Finally she's dancing with Rzhevsky: "Poruchik, your boots are all covered in mud!"/"It's not mud, it's shit. Don't worry, mademoiselle , it'll fall off once it dries up."
-
While successful narration of quite a few Russian jokes heavily depends on using sexual vulgarities ("Russian mat"), Rzhevsky, with all his vulgarity, does not use heavy
mat
. One of his favorite words is
arse
(which is considered rather mild among Russian vulgarities), and there is a series of jokes where Rzhevsky answers "arse" to some innocent question. (In fact it is typical of poruchik Rzhevsky to make anti-romantic comments in the most romantic situations. )
- Poruchik Rzhevsky and Natasha Rostova are riding each other on the countryside. "Poruchik, what a beautiful meadow! Guess what I see there?" — "Ass, mademoiselle ?" — "Ouch, Poruchik! I see chamomiles!" (Chamomiles are Russian cliche folk flowers) — "How romantic, mademoiselle ! An ass amid chamomiles!.."
Rabinovich
Rabinovich , is an archetypal Russian Jew. He is a crafty type, hates the Soviet government, often too smart for his own good and is sometimes portrayed as an otkaznik (refusenik): someone who is refused permission to emigrate to Israel.
- Rabinovich fills out a job application form. The official is skeptical: "You stated that you don't have any relatives abroad, but you do have a brother in Israel." / "Yes, but he isn't abroad, I am abroad!"
- Seeing a pompous and lavish burial of a member of the Politburo, Rabinovich sadly shakes his head: "What a waste! I could have buried the whole Politburo with this kind of money!"
- Rabinovich calls Pamyat headquarters, speaking with a characteristic accent: "Tell me, is it true that Jews sold Russia?"/ "Yes, of course it is true, you Jewish snout!"/ "Oh good! Could you please tell me where I should go to get my share?"
This following example explains Vladimir Putin's remark about "comrade wolf" in relation to the politics of the United States that many non-Russians found cryptic:
- Rabinovich is walking through the forest with a sheep, when both of them stumble into a pit. A few minutes later, a wolf also falls into the pit. The sheep gets nervous and starts bleating. "What's with all the baaahh, baaahh ?" Rabinovich asks, "Comrade wolf knows whom to eat."
Vovochka
Vovochka is the Russian equivalent of Little Johnny. He interacts with his school teacher, Marivanna, a spoken shortened form of Maria Ivanovna, a stereotypical Russian name. "Vovochka" is a diminutive form of Vladimir, creating the "little boy" effect. His fellow students bear similarly diminutive names. This "littl
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